Key Differentiations (KD)

In the pro­cess of gra­du­al­ly inte­gra­ting a com­pas­sio­na­te atti­tu­de in our life, a num­ber of hel­pful key dif­fe­ren­tia­ti­ons may bring cla­ri­ty and ori­en­ta­ti­on whe­re we are in any given moment.

Example of key dif­fe­ren­tia­ti­ons are the four steps of com­pas­sio­na­te com­mu­ni­ca­ti­on — each step inclu­des at least one key dif­fe­ren­tia­ti­on: obser­va­ti­on or inter­pre­ta­ti­on? — fee­ling or thought mixed with fee­ling? — need or stra­te­gy? — request or demand? 

Over time I want to add here my view on each key dif­fe­ren­tia­ti­on and hope­ful­ly suc­ceed in making clear, how the­se KDs help me to move gra­du­al­ly to a more authen­tic and com­pas­sio­na­te con­scious­ness of interdepence. 

25 Key Differentiations found in the CNVC cer­ti­fi­ca­ti­on packa­ge CPP

1. “Being Giraffe” vs. “doing Giraffe“
2. Giraffe hones­ty vs. jack­al hones­ty
3. Empathy vs. sym­pa­thy and other forms of respon­se (fixing, reas­su­ring, sto­ry­tel­ling, etc.)
4. Protective vs. puni­ti­ve use of for­ce
5. Power with vs. power over
6. Appreciation vs. appro­val, com­pli­ments or prai­se
7. Choice vs. sub­mis­si­on or rebel­li­on
8. Observation vs. obser­va­ti­on mixed with eva­lua­ti­on
9. Feeling vs. fee­ling mixed with thoughts
10. Need vs. request
11. Request vs. demand
12. Stimulus vs. cau­seStimulus vs. cau­se (Powell)
13. Value judgment vs. mora­listic judgment
14. Natural vs. habi­tu­al
15. Interdependence vs. depen­dence or inde­pen­dence
16. Life-con­nec­ted vs. life-ali­enated
17. Shift vs. com­pro­mi­se
18. Persisting vs. deman­ding
19. Obedience vs. self-disci­pli­ne
20. Respect for aut­ho­ri­ty vs. fear of aut­ho­ri­ty
21. Vulnerability vs. weak­ness
22. Love as an action vs. love as a need and a fee­ling
23. Self-empa­thy vs. acting out, repres­sing, or wal­lowing in fee­lings
24. Idiomatic vs. clas­si­cal (for­mal) Giraffe
25. Empathic sen­sing vs. intel­lec­tu­al guessing