Mourning Our Way to Acceptance

The cla­ri­ty was about rea­li­zing, final­ly, that accep­t­ing what is real­ly and tru­ly doesn’t mean that I have to like it, or to pre­tend that I am OK with some­thing that isn’t. It only means that I stop long enough to rea­li­ze that whe­ther or not I like this situa­ti­on, it is hap­pe­ning, and the­re is no point in doing anything other than sit still and reco­gni­ze that it’s hap­pe­ning. No amount of resent­ment or uncon­scious magi­cal thin­king makes it not be the­re when it’s there. 

The alter­na­ti­ve beca­me crys­tal clear: mourning. 

Mourning is the soft, loving cou­sin of all the fee­lings that keep our hearts clo­sed. Mourning dis­sol­ves the resis­tance to life, the resent­ment, the numb­ness of resignation.

For me, mour­ning comes with tears and brings me back to life. Mourning allows me to feel just how excru­cia­ting some­thing is without having to run away from it. Mourning streng­t­hens me, so I don’t have to put up a shield to pro­tect or fight. 

Mourning keeps me human, open, supple.

-Excerpt from “Mourning Our Way to Acceptance” by Miki Kashtan. Full arti­cle here.